Look

April 14, 2020

Andy grabs the car keys off the hook in the kitchen and says, “I’m taking Gemma-Rose to work.”

“Can I come with you?” I ask. “I need to get out of the house.”

“Is that a good enough reason for taking a trip into town?” my husband teases.

“I’ve got some essential shopping to do.”

“You have?”

“Oh yes, I need to buy coffee. We can get it at Gemma-Rose’s cafe. Then we can stop on the way home, perhaps at the lake, to drink it.”

An hour later, we’re sitting side by side on a bench in the park. I’m holding one of the coffee cups. The other one is on the ground. Andy is bent over his phone. His thumbs bounce up and down. Then they come to a halt, and Andy says, “Listen to this:

MasterChef contestant Chris copped the wrath of guest judge Gordon Ramsey on Tuesday night’s episode of the Channel 10 cooking show in a grisly exchange over pork belly.”

“A grisly exchange?”

Andy reads the article to the end before reaching for his coffee. He takes a sip. We sit in silence for a moment.

Then I say, “What are you doing? Why are you looking at your phone?”

“I’m searching for another story that will amuse you.”

“I don’t need anything to amuse me,” I say. “Let’s just look.”

The warm sunshine descends upon us from a cloudless sky as we look around. The lush green grass rolls down the hill before us.

“What a gorgeous day,” I say.

“Do you remember how this park used to be a lawn bowling club?”

“Do you remember how some people wanted to build a McDonald’s here?”

“Look at the mountains,” I say. “Look at all the trees. You wouldn’t think we’re in the middle of a town. Don’t we live in a beautiful place?”

“Look at us.”

My love and I have escaped. We’ve fled the world. We’re alone but together in the park.

“Look at the church,” I say as we drain the last drops of coffee from our cups. “Can we visit it before we go home?”

We leave the park and cross the road. As we walk up to the church door, we see a sign: Masses are available on our parish’s Youtube channel. Subscribe!

We make our way alongside the church to the tabernacle end. In my imagination, I look. I see a gold door above the altar. Upon the wall, a red candle is flickering in its holder.

I take out my phone.

“What are you doing?” asks Andy.

“I’m looking for a special prayer. Do you want to pray with me?”

Then we turn and face the church. Our prayers flow towards the tabernacle. The words rise and fall.

And Jesus looks straight through the wall.

He looks at me.


Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

4 Comments

  1. Hi Sue, I’m catching up with you here! You have been on my heart and mind and since I haven’t seen you on Instagram I thought I best check the blog. Yes you are too kind! It saddens me that you have offered years of unschooling support and are often taken for granted without as much as a thank you. I’ll be honest the reason I haven’t joined the unschool community is that we don’t unschool ?. We follow a Maths and English curriculum as best we can and then are lead by interests in other areas. Pip seems to have a natural ability as an illustrator and so with you tube videos as her art teachers she has produced some really good drawings and doodles.

    This pandemic is challenging the world in so many ways I do believe God is trying to tell us something. In spite of the awfulness of death so many good things are happening and I look for the good stories to give me hope. I have been busy with colourful yarn and my crochet hook and have yarn bombed our front room window to provide cheer to passers by. I am always here if you ever want to chat much love San xx

    • San,

      I’m so happy that you found me! I’ve been thinking about you too. I remember you each day in my prayers.

      Being too nice… It was good to be honest about how I was feeling. Everything just got too much. But friends rallied around and I’ve picked myself back up. Writing on this blog is helping too. Usually, I try to write useful posts, but here I’m just exploring thoughts and feelings and trying to make sense of my world. Yes, there are a lot of challenges at the moment. But hope as well.

      San, I would love to see you in my community. Not everyone is unschooling though I suppose most people are interested in this way of learning. I hope there’s a friendly and accepting and loving atmosphere. I’m enjoying the conversations. I hope everyone else is too!

      It sounds like Pip is thriving. I always enjoy hearing about what she is doing. I miss seeing your family photos on Instagram. I’ve hopped over to your blog a few times. Next time, I’ll have to stop by and say hello!

      Sending much love to you and your family! xxx

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About Me

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Hi, I’m Sue Elvis!

I'm an Australian author and blogger.

I’m writing the stories of my life, searching for meaning and hidden delights.

I have lots of questions I want to explore such as:

Are we more than mothers and wives?

What do we do when our kids grow and no longer need us?

How do we age gracefully and keep our sparkle?

Can I really let go of my unschooling blog?

Will anyone read my Wholy Souly posts?

Will we become friends?

Will we encourage and help each other to become the people God created us to be?

As well as pondering the big questions of life, I love sharing books, creative ideas and anything else that comes into my Catholic mind!

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