Wholy Souly

Feeling Crazy

Yesterday, we buried our baby. Today, I am kneeling on the ground beside my son’s grave, tears streaming down my face. I thrust aside the mountain of funeral flowers, and then I

My Starring Role

Years ago, I was Marcia Brady and I had two younger sisters, Jan and Cindy. It was the seventies and we were children and we all pretended we were Brady Bunch girls.

The Bath

Some years ago, we lived in a run-down old cottage in the middle of 100 acres of nothing: a few stunted trees, some low growing bush, hard-packed dry earth, a mob of

Ashamed of Being Ashamed of Looking Older

The other day, while I was browsing the shelves in our local library, a book title jumped out at me: Why Time Goes Faster as We Get Older. Yes, time is definitely

Ironing Away the Pain

“Are you okay?” she asks. “No, I am not!” My words whip her in the face, and it crumples as she takes two steps back from the ironing board. I don’t care.

An Exquisite Gown of Love

Our son Thomas was born. He died. And he had to be buried. And I thought about what I wanted him to be wearing when we laid him in his coffin. I

Not a Problem

Rocket grinned. She drooled a bit too. I opened the car door and she leapt in. She walked around in a circle and then settled herself on the back seat. The kids

Letting Go of Another of Thomas’ Places

She was getting to be an old lady. You see, she was 26 years old. She did her best and was quite reliable, but she tended to huff and puff every time

Nothing to Say?

I really have nothing to say. I’ve hit a wall. Too many stories in such a short time, I guess. It seems I’ve run right out of inspiration. No, don’t go away.

Just in Case

My husband Andy and I didn’t make many preparations for our sixth baby’s birth. We decided not to sort out the baby equipment or the clothes we had packed away from previous

Graves: Wild Imaginings

When I die, I’d like a proper grave with a headstone and one of those slabs that prevents people walking on top of you. “I want a proper burial,” I say to

How Many Children Do You Have? (Part 4)

We wanted a large family. Felicity was born, and within eighteen months she had a brother. Shortly after Duncan’s first birthday, we found out we were expecting another baby. Our family was

To Whom Shall I Go?

The day after Thomas’ funeral I visited Father F. “I feel so angry with God,” I confessed. “All the doctors told me that there was little possibility that Thomas would live after birth, but

Remembering the Grieving Mothers

Mary and Joseph are curled up on the floor together with the child Jesus. They are trying to keep their eyes tightly closed. An angel in a long flowing gown appears through