I’m going to do something I shouldn’t because it’s breaking the rules. But I’m going to do it anyway.
I’m breaking my blogging pact. Yes, two weeks in, and I want to quit. My heart just isn’t in it.
I know it’s not good to base our decisions on our feelings. We all have bad weeks. Perhaps we’re just stumbling over a rock on an otherwise smooth path. The way ahead might be clear. We’ll feel differently tomorrow. And even if we don’t, isn’t it better to persevere through the challenges instead of giving up?
Today, those arguments aren’t going to win. I just want to end the pact prematurely. I’m basing my decision on how I’ve been feeling for a while.
I made the blogging pact as a tiny experiment, hoping it would help me find my next big thing. I planned to write consistently for a month and then look at the data – how did the experiment go? – to decide if I should continue blogging. But already, I know I don’t want my life to revolve around my blog. I don’t want to transfer all the time and effort I used to spend on my unschooling blog to this one.
I no longer want to constantly think about blogging, feeling pressured to come up with stories that need to be published consistently. That turns writing into a chore, something that must be done.
Pushing through and writing regardless of how I’m feeling might be the right thing to do if this were my job, if I wanted to build up my readership, if I wanted to do more than write for pleasure. But I’m not interested in all that.
I still want to discover my next big thing. I need to find a purpose, something worthwhile to do with my days. So, I will keep experimenting, making pacts, which I’ll hopefully keep, and looking at the data. I’d like to try a few things away from my usual online environment because I need to open my front door and go somewhere to meet people instead of spending a lot of time alone. I’m grateful for our dogs, but sadly, they’re not good conversationalists. I often talk to myself.
I might go to a Catholic Women’s League meeting for my next tiny experiment. I’ve had a few invitations but always refused them, thinking, “I’m a blogger and podcaster. I don’t go to meetings – unless they’re Zooms. I don’t have the right skills for interacting face-to-face.” I’ve assumed the CWL isn’t my thing. But who knows? It could be. I shall go to a few meetings to find out.
Perhaps I’ll report back and let you know how my experiment is going. I could write a post now and then, just for pleasure without any pressure, because I love writing and connecting with you. You’ve enriched my life with love, encouragement and friendship over the past few years. Thank you.
Images
A bouquet of dahlias because the cold season has ended and the spring flowers are gorgeous.
Jack Swords, Unsplash
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Dear Sue, Thank You for all you have written. I will look forward to when you want to write more, but do not write because you feel pressured to do so. Try the CWL! It is calling to you and perhaps that is where your next big thing lies. You never know what corner it may be hiding behind! The flowers in your photo are gorgeous! I am here in Iowa anxiously awaiting the orange and red leaves of autumn to appear and inspire me.
Sue, that is me above; I forgot to login before commenting 🙂
Staci,
Thank you! Yes, maybe the CWL is calling to me. I already know a lot of the beautiful ladies who belong to this organisation. I’m sure they’d welcome me into the group.
Autumn is my favourite season. Enjoy all the gorgeous colours of the leaves! 😊❤️
Thank you Sue, I am so glad your doing what is best for you. Sending all my love. Nancyanne
Nancy,
You are a very supportive and loyal friend. Thank you! Sending lots of love to you too! 💗
Funny, I had a strong feeling this would be the case. I am happy for you.
And I’m feeling similarly. Maybe it’s the Holy Spirit guiding us in this place of aging gracefully. This morning, the parish Sodality entered my thoughts. Perhaps it’s time I thought. I could try it and see. I could step out of my comfort zone and serve in some capacity – based on the talents God has given me. I wondered what they might be. I asked God to let me know.
I will look forward to anything you write in the future, Sue. God bless you today and always.
Michelle,
Ageing is easier when we have good friends to share the experience with, people who understand. It’s not a time to give up, is it? Life just changes. New challenges. I think you’re right about needing to step out of our comfort zones. But if we’re brave and willing to serve in new ways, I’m sure we’ll discover a new purpose and abundant joys. Maybe I’ll join the CWL and you’ll become part of your parish’s sodality organisation.
May God bless you, my friend! 😊❤️
Hi Sue, this sounds like a wonderful plan! Yes, go out, be brave, show your beautiful wide smile and it will be good. I`m sure you are a delight to meet face-to-face 🙂
Sometimes we need to step out of our comfort zone. You have done it so many times very, very bravely for your kids and now you can do it for yourself.
I`m excited for you and am wishing you to meet some good lovely ladies there and enjoy yourself!
And as always – whenever you feel like writing here again, I am looking forward to read it.
It was Luana.
Luana,
You are such a beautiful person. You always have many kind and encouraging words to share with me.
I hope I’m a delight when people meet me face to face. It’s much more difficult to be delightful in person than via a blog. I need to listen more and not talk too much. I often let my tongue run away with me when I’m sharing my opinions with people! I need to practise my communication skills. Yes, stepping out of my comfort zone could be good. I’ll enjoy the company of other women and learn a lot too.
I know you’ll stay in touch, responding to any future posts I might write. That warms my heart!
God bless, Luana! 😊❤️
I`m glad! You have warmed my heart so many times 🙂
Have a beautiful day!
Thank you, Luana. xx ❤️
Why can’t I access the unschooling blog?
My unschooling blog is offline so it can’t be accessed. I have a couple of technical problems and not much motivation to fix them. I have been very tried recently- I have insomnia. The blog hasn’t seemed important enough to make it a priority. The blog requires a lot of time, money and effort to maintain. I’m low on all those at the moment! 😊